|Winter Demon - Watercolor, Ink, Digital - ©Johnny Perez 2017|
It may be the biggest understatement to say that I am ready for this year to be over. Maybe it's not the worst, but it is a close contender. Looking back I see struggle after struggle, and yet I know that's not all it was.
I hesitate to write any more than that.
The real challenge here is to find the lesson, find the silver lining in all of 2017. Good things happened. I know that. Bad things happen too, and usually get all the focus.
Staying positive is the right move. But I'm here to convince you of that. I began writing because its the end of the year, and if I need to accomplish something, it has to start here, with my thoughts, my actions, my work. It has to start with getting back to what's important still. I may not feel like it, and it's been hard to focus, but when all is said and done, I cannot let the problems of 2017 take me down another notch before its over.
This is my art blog where I let you in on my process, my inspiration, and in essence my mind. It's chaotic in here guys, but please bear with me. This psychobabble has some purpose I think. For those that haven't a clue what I'm getting at, here it is. The events of 2017 have spurred a need to get more personal. These events began with recovering from a broken finger, consequently trying to stay afloat financially, sinking into a quiet depression, and ultimately the end of my relationship of 3 years.
|Detail of Demon sketchbook study - ©Johnny Perez 2017|
Finding pieces of myself that I've lost over the course of all this, has shown me that I don't have time to play around. There ARE bigger problems than these. That doesn't make it hurt less, but it at least helps put things in perspective. With that in mind, I recall the work I began with my last heartbreak. Years ago, my goal was to work through the pain with my art. I got pretty far in that endeavor, and honestly can't believe I'd lost most of that progress to find myself here again attempting to pick up where I left off.
It all began with the simplest of narratives, Good vs. Evil. Classic. Easy. I spent my nights photographing myself for reference. The Hero looked like me, as did the Villain. I had intended to make this short story comic book documenting my struggle with the Dark Side. As I began to sketch out the photos, it seemed like too much. As I tried to write a script, I realized I'm not that kind of writer. This was going to take time. Life happened, I recovered, and the project was benched. It floated in the back of my mind for years now.
|Reference photo - Self Portrait - ©Johnny Perez 2017|
Now in the present, I am back to finish it. Not just the project though, but the work I put into myself. This latest setback was a shining reminder of what I'd left undone both on and off the page. Things I thought I'd left in the past, reared their horned heads. The hero is back on his journey with fresh Hell to pay. This might get ugly. I hope this explains a bit the direction I'm going, though.
|Animated Winter Demon gif created by Werble app - ©Johnny Perez|