...On to the Next

Winter Demon - Watercolor, Ink, Digital - ©Johnny Perez 2017

It may be the biggest understatement to say that I am ready for this year to be over.   Maybe it's not the worst, but it is a close contender.   Looking back I see struggle after struggle, and yet I know that's not all it was.  

I hesitate to write any more than that.  

The real challenge here is to find the lesson, find the silver lining in all of 2017.  Good things happened.  I know that.  Bad things happen too, and usually get all the focus.

Staying positive is the right move.  But I'm here to convince you of that.   I began writing because its the end of the year, and if I need to accomplish something, it has to start here, with my thoughts, my actions, my work.   It has to start with getting back to what's important still.   I may not feel like it, and it's been hard to focus, but when all is said and done, I cannot let the problems of 2017 take me down another notch before its over.

This is my art blog where I let you in on my process, my inspiration, and in essence my mind.   It's chaotic in here guys, but please bear with me.   This psychobabble has some purpose I think.   For those that haven't a clue what I'm getting at, here it is.    The events of 2017 have spurred a need to get more personal.   These events began with recovering from a broken finger,  consequently trying to stay afloat financially, sinking into a quiet depression,  and ultimately the end of my relationship of 3 years.

Detail of Demon sketchbook study - ©Johnny Perez 2017

Finding pieces of myself that I've lost over the course of all this, has shown me that I don't have time to play around.   There ARE bigger problems than these.  That doesn't make it hurt less, but it at least helps put things in perspective.  With that in mind,  I recall the work I began with my last heartbreak.  Years ago, my goal was to work through the pain with my art.   I got pretty far in that endeavor, and honestly can't believe I'd lost most of that progress to find myself here again attempting to pick up where I left off.

It all began with the simplest of narratives,  Good vs. Evil.  Classic.  Easy.  I spent my nights photographing myself for reference.  The Hero looked like me, as did the Villain.  I had intended to make this short story comic book documenting my struggle with the Dark Side.   As I began to sketch out the photos, it seemed like too much.  As I tried to write a script,  I realized I'm not that kind of writer.   This was going to take time.  Life happened,  I recovered, and the project was benched.  It floated in the back of my mind for years now.

Reference photo - Self Portrait - ©Johnny Perez 2017

Now in the present, I am back to finish it.  Not just the project though, but the work I put into myself.   This latest setback was a shining reminder of what I'd left undone both on and off the page.   Things I thought I'd left in the past, reared their horned heads.   The hero is back on his journey with fresh Hell to pay.   This might get ugly.  I hope this explains a bit the direction I'm going, though.

Animated Winter Demon gif created by Werble app - ©Johnny Perez