|Winter Demon - Watercolor, Ink, Digital - ©Johnny Perez 2017|
It may be the biggest understatement of my life so far to say that I am ready for this year to be over. Maybe it's not the worst, but it is a close contender. Looking back I see struggle after struggle, and yet I know that's not all it was. I hesitate to write any more than that. The real challenge here is to find the lesson, find the silver lining in all of 2017. Good things happened. I'll admit to that. Bad things always happen. That's nothing new.
I can tell you that staying positive is the right move. But I didn't begin this post with the intent to convince of you that. I began writing because its the end of the year, and if I need to accomplish something, it has to start with getting back to routine. It has to start with getting back to what's important still. I may not feel like it, and it's been hard to focus, but when all is said and done, I cannot let the problems of 2017 take me down another notch before its over.
This is my art blog where I intend to let you in on my process, my inspiration, and in essence my mind. It's chaotic in here guys, but please bear with me. This psychobabble has some purpose I think. My life is on display at times on my various social media, but for those that haven't a clue what I'm getting at, here it is. The events of 2017 have spurred a need to get more personal. These events began with recovering from a broken finger, consequently trying to stay afloat financially, sinking into a quiet depression, and ultimately the end of my relationship of 3 years. Woe is me.
|Detail of Demon sketchbook study - ©Johnny Perez 2017|
Finding pieces of myself that I've lost over the course of all this, has shown me that I don't have time to play around. There ARE bigger problems than these. That doesn't make it hurt less. With that in mind, I recall the work I began with my last heartbreak and previous "worst year of my life." Sensing a pattern? Me too. My goal of THAT year was to work through the pain with my art. I got pretty far in that endeavor, and honestly can't believe I'd lost most of that progress to find myself here again attempting to pick up where I left off.
It all began with the simplest of narratives, Good vs. Evil. Classic. Easy. I spent my nights photographing myself for reference. The Hero looked like me, as did the Villain. I had intended to make this short story comic book documenting my struggle with the Dark Side. As I began to sketch out the photos, it seemed like too much. As I tried to write a script, I realized I'm not that kind of writer. This was going to take time. Life happened, I recovered, and the project was benched. It floated in the back of my mind for years now.
|Reference photo - Self Portrait - ©Johnny Perez 2017|
Now in the present, I am back to finish it. Not just the project though, but the work I put into myself. This latest setback was a shining reminder of what I'd left undone both on and off the page. Things I thought I'd left in the past, reared their horned heads. The hero is back on his journey with fresh Hell to pay. This might get ugly. I hope this explains a bit the direction I'm going, though
And this is where I'm at. It's all still a bit uncharted, but that's what it's about.
|Animated Winter Demon gif created by Werble app - ©Johnny Perez|