Quarantine Life

I'm so interested to see what life will be like when all this is over.  What things will change, what things have thrived and what things have withered away.  It's such a tough time for some many and surely Life in general will be affected for everyone in some way.

But I'm not here to talk so much about what the news is making us worry about.  While I can I'd rather offer up some distraction, education, and/or entertainment.  Someone told me blogs are coming back, *intrigued face* that is yet to be seen on my end, most people are still hung up on social media, myself included.  But a part of me misses coming here to hash it all out with whoever wants to listen. Haha.

I've done a few videos on life as an artist, and to be honest its not much different from quarantine life, except that I'm lucky enough to live more of my day as an artist.  I'll hate to give it up, but artist life doesn't pay my bills yet unfortunately.  With that in mind I turn to experts in the field and what they do to make their living.  There's so much information!  I'll have to start a notebook or something to contain it all.  Check out some of my favorites below.

My main sources are first on YouTube:
@arleebean
@frannerd
@audraauclair
@ergojosh
@DokeTV
@JacquelineDeLeon
@lulusketches

And quite a few others...there and Instagram. I soak up the information they have to offer like  a sponge, but in practice, always seems to be a different story.  In my more recent videos I discuss the woes of modern artists trying to live up to their potential, and it can be such a daunting task that its no wonder so many give up.  I've often had those thoughts, even though I told myself I never would.  I never plan to for sure.  But the fact that I'm older than I thought I'd be before I had some financial success, which is to say, very little right now, is a great cause for depression sometimes.

One thing keeps ringing true in my mind, but something I often ignore.  "You need a product not a project"  And boy do I have tons of projects!  So many things I want to do, so many creative avenues I can't wait to explore!  Many artists are like this I'm sure.  And then I watched this video by speaker and designer Chris Do @thechrisdo  and he explained this "shiny object syndrome" that many artists suffer from.  I recommend checking that video out here: The Futr - The Difference Between Art & Design

But to summarize, it has to do with the debate of "The Specialist" or "The Generalist"  that is to say, someone who specializes in one area of expertise, and one that practices a bit of everything.  No one goes to the doctor that also does culinary, and archery, painting, etc.  People go to the doctor that practices medicine and that's it.  But does that doctor do things in his spare time? OF course! The trick is being a "specialist" in professional practice, and being a "generalist" on your own time and mostly under the radar.  I'd say the generalist stuff will almost always inform your main work in positive ways.  But that doesn't mean you should go to advertise yourself as a Jack of all Trades.  Many times that title comes later anyway, once you're known for that one great thing, people discover what else you're capable of.  And wouldn't you know it, you just happen to have well rounded arsenal.  

Anyone that knows me knows I definitely suffer from Shiny Object Syndrome. I don't notice it very often because a lot of it has to do with my art, and to me, the focus is my art.  But on a more in depth level, I scatter my time between projects and end up having little time for any one thing, and especially the growth I'm looking for.  Which is to say, the business of my art.  I only have myself to blame.  It might also help, if I knew what kind of artist I really am? 

I studied traditional art, and have many experiences to continue that route, but here comes the syndrome and I want to do illustration, I want to be a cover artist, a comic artist, a character designer, a videographer, a youtuber, a teacher, and the list goes on.  Many of these things tie into diversifying income for me.  But its so so SO easy to get lost in all that.   So with so many aspirations what is someone like me to do? 

I think it boils down to getting more specific.  One thing that also rings true for a self sustaining artist life, is muliple streams of income.  This is definitely easier said than done, but I also can't be all things to everyone without making myself crazy.  (Gosh my nails have gotten so long in these past few weeks)

ME right now...

Where was I? I had to find this GIF, lol.  OK right, there is such a thing as stretching yourself too thin.  Burn out is real.  Artist block is real.  I probably don't have to tell you that. The other night I got lost in my new obsession creator, @DokeTV he's a very charismatic guy from Slovakia who does graffiti art.  I've seen some of his videos before, but this night, one caught my eye, and for some reason the idea struck a chord.  He bought a house for an art studio.  Cool, I see Youtubers, especially popular ones buying houses left and right.  But this was different.  I could already tell from the thumbnail, though it was a big house, it wasn't full of "curb appeal."  Did he go and buy and old house for the sake of redoing everything and exploding creatively all over it?  Yes he did.  I thought this was amazing.  He saved his money to find a space that he could go ham on.  Not a precious property to remain untouched and Instagram-worthy.  He could do whatever he wanted to it.  This little journey with the house drew me in, and I came across one of his other videos that seemed to be a turning point for him.

Up until this point he was an average graffiti artist.  Relatively unknown to me, but I have seen his videos show up in my feed.  I flipped back to earlier videos and saw that he made a turning point, to become a better artist.  He had a great following, he seemed happy doing what he loved, but he found a hole somewhere.  A hole that he could fill by improving and taking his audience on that journey.  He has a very simple plan.  And yet the dots began to connect.  He had focus, and he had a mission, and he wrote it down, and he stuck to it.  And every video afterward was a continuation of this goal, and his personality just got to shine in the midst of it all.  This was a lightbulb moment for me.  I felt stupid for one.  I watched so many artists like this.  I watched them not always to learn from them, but because I LIKED them.  They were funny, they were fun to watch.  Was I fun to watch? 

For some people yes, but I cringe watching my own videos.  Sometimes I just watch for the nostalgia of it all.  But overall, in my experience when too much of MY personal life snuck into the video, viewers got scarce.  But this guy... I knew nothing of his family, or situation, but he himself was a hoot!  It was just him being himself on camera.  I knew it.  I've seen this advice a million times from others.  Just be yourself, no one can be you, its the best commodity you have.  And I knew at this moment that my personality was lacking on screen.  And that the favorites I come back to over and over again, were the ones that the camera was barely there, and I was just hanging out with a friend.

And yet when the camera goes on, my mind flips to educator, people-pleaser, almost personality-less zombie.  I think that's what I've been cringing over when I see myself.  Not many people can handle being themselves much less watching themselves speak and emote on screen.  I certainly can't.  I have to credit @TheChrisDo again for his video that spoke about the inner critic.  Again, nothing that was new to me.  But he had small exercise that helped identify the things we tell ourselves, and then REPLACE those things with the thoughts of others.  That is to say, the opinions of those we love and who love us.  They would never be as harsh as we are on ourselves.  It's all about interrupting that thought process and becoming aware of that voice that isn't really ours in our head and belongs to the criticism we've heard over the tough times in our lives.  So lets replace those words with words of kindness from people who we deserve to be listening to.  As I write this I think of all the ways in which I've derailed myself.   I'll the things I've told myself that counter the dream.  So change those thoughts, because thoughts become your actions, and actions become your reality. 

And be your fucking self.